Who Wants You to Go to Stanford?
As students begin to hit “submit” on early applications to colleges around the world, it never ceases to amaze me how fixated some students…
As students begin to hit “submit” on early applications to colleges around the world, it never ceases to amaze me how fixated some students are on the same 10 or 12 schools in the US, out of the thousands to choose from around the world.
Often, what happens this time of year is, after helping these kids build lists of awesome, great-fit schools where they will likely thrive, receive financial aid and excel, some will suddenly start adding schools like Brown, Princeton and Stanford to their lists (they rarely add Harvard because that would be presumptuous!). Often, they’ll justify these random additions by saying, “My parents think there’s no harm in just applying — who knows what might happen?” And right there, you’ve got your problem:
A false belief that only a handful of schools in the country will lead to true happiness and define these kids as people of worth and substance.
I had a student describe what she liked about Stanford and then I asked her to tell me how it was qualitatively different than some of the other schools on her list. She couldn’t do it.
I would argue most students don’t really know why they are so fixated on the small fraction of very selective schools in this country. What they may or may not realize is they’ve adopted a view of education as emancipation. The golden ticket. The lucky break.
I think I can say this because this is exactly how I viewed college when I was 17 — a way to break out of the boring, vanilla middle class.
And maybe you’re thinking this all points to a general trend in the age of rationality of seeking satisfaction and approval from the outside, rather than from within — you’re probably right. But what always amazes me during college admissions season, year after year, is how we can turn others’ dreams, ambitions and standards into our own and believe them to be true. Without even really knowing how or why, we are remarkably talented at viewing others’ visions for us as our own visions for ourselves.
It doesn’t take wild and crazy manipulation or brain washing — I don’t think parents are guilty of that — all it takes is a subtle and simple statement like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if you got in,” and the course has been set.
Alex Ellison is an independent college admissions counselor, education consultant, and speaker who’s presented at TEDx, SXSW, and more. To learn more about her work, click here.
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